Short Funny Jokes That Will Crack You Up!

jokes-crack-you-up

Each of us have their own definition of what’s funny and what not, and not everyone shares the same sense of humor. While some of us like telling a funny story to friends, others may prefer watching comic videos online in the comfort of their own home. But one thing is for sure – life is much, much better with laughter! When you’re surrounded by laughter, optimistic thinking and cheerful people, there’s really nothing you couldn’t do. Other people’s positive energy can be very contagious and transfers onto us fast when we’re willing to accept it.

When things aren’t going so well in your life, humor can help you develop a more positive mental image of the whole situation. It’s all about looking on the bright side, remember the song? Laughter is an instant mood improver that also offers physical benefits to your health by releasing stress. We could go on with more reasons to start smiling right now, but we hope you’re smart enough to know it on your own. Laughter is a great thing, so don’t waste another day without sharing a smirk, starting with our list of short funny jokes to crack you up below!

1.

Be polite to every idiot you meet. He could be your boss tomorrow.

2.

A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: “Hello my name is Margaret.”

The man replies: “Mine not.”

3.

You know you’re old when your friends start having kids on purpose.

4.

What’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.

5.

Daddy what is a transvestite?
Ask Mommy, he knows.

6.

A man noticed his credit card has been stolen – but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.

7.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!

8.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”

9.

Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn’t find the “10” button.

10.

What do you call a woman who always knows for sure where her husband is? A widow.

11.

My dog once ate all the Scrabble tiles. He kept leaving messages around the house for days.

12.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “Breathe, stupid!”

13.

What is see-through and smells of carrots?
A rabbit fart.

14.

Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book!”

15.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

16.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

17.

How do trees access the internet?
They log in.

18.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
“You’re too young to smoke.”

19.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

20.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

Sources: 1,2,3

Previous Entries A Protein Supplement For Weight Loss Can Help You Lose Weight Next Entries Curtains: Beyond Their Window Dressing Function